11 Comments
May 13Liked by Nikita Petrov

Ok, Good talk, keep at it, I think you have a lot of interesting and informative things to say, and we can all learn more about this crazy world.

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For me it was Titanic drawings as a kid. James Cameron’s movie came out when I was in kindergarten. I still have one on my wall.

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Some of that eerily correlates to my childhood experiences. Overall, an amazing read.

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May 14Liked by Nikita Petrov

This was a really good read.

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Man, lots of stoic looks in that kindergarten pic.

I remember watching the Berlin wall come down with a sense of hope, dazzled by the spectacle...but later, despair to see Russians struggle in the chaos.

And now I see the whole arc though the lens of rippling consequences. All pain and shame. Empire is a terrible game we are forced to play.

Glad to see you writing again.

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What is it that you think causes people to be attracted to such a horrible ideology?

It seems to me that the vast, vast majority of people who are attracted to fascism are (a) male, (b) place an extremely high value on receiving respect from others/feeling like they are superior to others, and (c) have deep personal insecurities. I suppose (d) they also feel like they don’t really belong to any kind of kinship group that supports them. Am I incorrect about any of these factors? Do they describe your friend?

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May 14·edited May 14Author

I think (b), (c), and (d) are all different formulations of the same thing, a desire to be accepted and respected and loved.

In regards to my friend, that "my dad doesn't love me" moment made everything make sense to me. The kid had a lot of anger and no sense of belonging. He met people who gave him this sense of belonging, a means to exorcise anger (through sports first, then street fights, I think), and a target for the deeper anger that no gym can help with — Jews and work migrants.

Hating Jews that you only see on TV for taking advantage of your people must be easier than hating your dad for having never loved you.

It would be a trivialization to say that everybody's story is like that, but I bet it's a lot of them.

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May 14Liked by Nikita Petrov

It is great to read your writing again. This must mean some settling into the new surroundings. I will be rejoining in a month or two after catching the budget up from breaking appliances and my Son's rebuilding of our deck. My goal is to support your work and enjoy the free bits of other people's efforts. I appreciate a fellow weirdo.

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Welcome back to the writing/drawing board, Nikita! So many gems here, as ever:

• "The symbol stared back disapprovingly."

• "It was a challenge for all boys my age. But we all figured it out sooner or later."

• "To try on new pants, one would hide from the waist down behind a piece of cardboard held by the seller, usually a brash and sad-looking woman."

• "I saw the game very poetic and vaguely Buddhist."

• "I know now that this, too, sometimes happens in life: people go about their lives, chasing the good stuff and avoiding the bad, and a swastika simply emerges out of their collective movement."

I think you are one of the most "natural" essayists I've ever read. And, like the rare truly ambidextrous athlete, those essays can be in text, images, or both.

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Thanks so much, Jeremy!

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You are beautiful, in the sort of way that Jamie was 30 Rock to Frank... very. Why are you not "smoking" a Gamma Goblin in your profile picture?

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